Chickens

Chickens are a large carnivorous bird. The average chicken is approximately 6ft tall and weighs 430 pounds. Chickens are know mostly for their ferocious and territorial nature.
Chickens prey on small buffalo, cacti, and dwarves for their primary source of food, but have also been known to eat corn, and anacondas on occasion.
Chickens are highly controversial in the scientific community. In 1956 a huge controversy erupted over chicken bones. One scientist claimed that he could prove chickens had evolved from crocodile-like dinosaurs. Evolutionists hailed this discovery as a landmark and attempted to provide the bones as concrete evidence for evolution, fortunately a Creationist college professor at the University of Washington exposed the fraud by revealing that alleged "prehistoric chicken bones"were in fact the leftovers of an 8-pc chicken meal from KFC.
Long believed to be a flightless bird, the chicken actually can fly, but usually only does so under the cover of night. Chickens, like bats have poor eyesight so they must utilize sonar technology to detect their surroundings.
In ancient cultures chickens have been revered as deity. The ancient Aztecs worshiped the great Pollo and sacrificed jaguar clubs to keep Pollo from going Loco. The greeks believed Zeus was born from a chicken and that anyone that broke a chicken's egg must be thrown off a cliff. Ironically the people of Greece loved omelets and scrambled eggs so much that they would willingly risk death to eat them.
Chickens are now left with a choice, they can unite together as a species and become a force for good or a force for evil. The world waits and watches, chickens, the next move is yours.

Inspiration

(Eeen-spear-ate-shun)
The magical moment when a light bulb mysteriously appears over your head. It is a bizarre and unexplainable phenomenon. Scientists seek to harness this energy/light source, unfortunately it is a fleeting occurrence that disappears as mysteriously as it appeared.

Waiting

(Waay - teen- gugh) (silent gugh)
1. The state of being in extended suspense.
examples: Will she marry me?
When will my dad stop drinking
Will I get fired for putting rat poison in my boss’s coffee or will my co-worker Bob get fired?
2. Extended period of wasted life while someone else takes their sweet time.
examples: Standing outside the only bathroom in town after a 700 pound man goes in.
Lying at the bottom of a flight of stairs with a broken neck while the ambulance is on its way.
Being at DMV, Post Office, or any other government run facility.
3. Waiting is just one of those things you have to go through in life, unless you have Fast Passes at Disneyland or Magic Mountain, otherwise get used to it and stop complaining, but whatever you do DON'T CUT IN LINE, cause then I will have to wait longer and might just have to bludgeon you over the head with a Bencyclopedia.

Bencylopedia

(Ben-sie-clow-pee-dee-ugh)
The Bencyclopedia is a revolutionary new reference tool. It lists over 700 definitions and contains 6000 articles. Bencyclopedia is very well researched and contains only the best of Ben's knowledge and invented truth and facts. The Bencyclopedia is a number 1 top seller in Indonesia, Canada, Uruguay, and Georgia. However the people of georgia don't actually read the Bencylopedia, they use it to attack their Russian neighbors (the Bencyclopedia weighs 68 pounds.) The Bencyclopedia contains various essays on the meaning of life, answers all the great questions of our universe (aliens do exist!) and sheds light on the greatest controversies and conspiracies (9/11 was a cover up, to hide JFK's killer) of all time. It has been described as: "The second greatest story ever told, Jesus wins by default of course, but the Bencylopedia comes in a close second, followed in third place by Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Suess ."
The Bencyclopedia is world renowned and widely accepted as being; "Much better than Wikipedia, you can't get the Wikipedia in book form, I don't have a computer, Wikipedia is about as useful as someone with turrets syndrome in a choir, or a choir full of people turrets syndrome running around in a minefield looking for easter eggs." So there you have it, the Bencyclopedia is informative, entertaining, and a great blunt object to hit someone over the head with. Enjoy.

2 Shadows

Two Shadows was a multimedia art concept developed by Ben Andrews in late 2008. Two shadows is a phenomenon that does not naturally occur, two shadows requires two light sources. Nature only provides on light source: the sun. so until a second sun materializes in the sky we will have to count on artificial lighting to create two shadows. When Ben observed this bizarre consequence of having two light sources; the unique transcendental experience; TWO SHADOWS, he was inspired to create a body of work revolving around this event. First he recorded an album entitled; “TWO SHADOWS" which included 10 songs:
1. Two Shadows
2. Right Shadow
3.Left Shadow
4. Choice of Shadow
5.This Shadow
6.That shadow
7. Vote Shadows
8. More than one, but less than three shadows
9. Shadows times 2
10. Hamsters Eat Burritos!
Ben also created a painting called “Two shadows" which was used as cover art for the album. Soon after Ben went on to expand his “Two Shadows" project into a full multimedia explosion! He wrote sever books with the them, A mystery thriller: “The Case of The Two Shadows", a science fiction novel: “The Two Shadows from Outer Space", a romance novel: “I fell in love with Two Shadows", a political memoir: “The Two Shadows of Washington D.C.", and a self help book: “You can be better than Two Shadows." A few years later he produced and directed “Two Shadows" a science fiction political romance thriller musical which starred Tom Hanks and Morgan Freeman as alien brothers that fall in love with a undercover CIA agent (Natalie Portman) who poses as a French Senator in order to track down the man who killed her father. It won 16 Oscars. 5 years later “Tow Shadows" hit Broadway. “Two Shadows" on Broadway was drastically adapted to include themes about slavery, the abolitionist movement and the invention of mustard. “Two Shadows" soon passed up Phantom of The Opera as the highest selling Broadway show ever, and won 16 Tony Awards.
Just when the world thought they had seen the last of “Two Shadows" Ben announced plans for a sequel movie, a video, an animated television series, a clothing line, a body spray, a magazine, a comic book series and a theme park.

Shoes

Shoes have been around for thousands of years. Most people wear shoes as a protection for their feet, but this has not always been the case. Scientists recently discovered Ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs that reveal the true nature and origin of the shoe. Shoes were originally invented as a food serving bowl and a weapon.Shoes were made from crocodile hides and cow hearts. The cow hearts were hollowed out and dried, then crocodile skin was stretched over the cow heart and tied to it.
The word shoe comes from the Ancient Indian word for crocodile; “Shii" and the Japanese word for cow; “Owo" The shoe was used to hold food because it was made from a crocodile crocodiles lived in the Nile River, Therefore the crocodile was a giver of life, and a bowl holding food also gives life. Of course the Nile River represents the gateway to life and the passage way to the land of the dead so that led to the use of shoes as weapons.
Shoes were used as weapons all the way until the war of 1812 when they were replaced by Flaming-Ax catapults. George Washington started the tradition of wearing shoes on the feet, until then people wore potatoes on their feet during winter to keep warm.